Shame

My best friend confronted me about my drinking. It embarrassed me, it made me want to slink away. She did it in love and caring. But I feel exposed. Which is good. I need to know that others know.

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Remember to me…

If I kid myself that I will be satisfied with 2 glasses of wine…I am self deceived. It will merely be a starting point for more…probably whiskey.  Seeking that delightful buzz requires more because my capacity has grown. What I need for the buzz is a guaranteed hangover if not worse. So remember to myself…drinking is a hangover. Or a blackout. Or both. Is the buzz worth it?  Sometimes I don’t even have a happy buzz. I just go straight to drunk.

Learning

I read several blogs tonight about alcohol. People writing who are in various stages of sobriety. Or as in my case, wanting to be. I’ve been struggling a lot and hating it. There is a Bible verse that says “why do I do what I don’t want to do…” I really haven’t grasped the addiction piece. I guess that’s why I struggle. I won’t give up.