Tho the last 2 days were horrible, I do not lose hope.
I went 6 days alcohol free and then…I got drunk 2 days in a row. The fact that my best friend and her husband were here for dinner yesterday is an added bit of shame. Ugh.
about wine when I get off work at 10:30. I sat at my desk and mulled it over. How nice it would be. Just a couple glasses. But then I remembered how much better I feel just 5 days along. And because it’s late it would only be 2 glasses…but then there’s tomorrow and the day after…I have 3 days off. And honestly if I think I can moderate and be content with 2 of anything…I am lying to myself. Nuts. So I will go home and be thankful for this day and the Good Lord reminding me…one more day.
In the mid eighties my problem was escalating. I struggled for 3 years, crying and praying everyday please God help me stop. One day I came home from a wine lunch and my teen children saw me. I was very ashamed. I didn’t drink the next day nor the next nor the next…I stopped. And began to pray, thank You Lord for my day without and please remind me of how terrible I feel with a hangover. He did. And when three “almosts” came around in the early going, He provided something that broke the tunnel vision to cave. I didn’t know I wasn’t going to drink again for almost 25 years but that’s what happened. It became a non issue. Then…about five years ago I very gradually took it up again. I loved not drinking. I pray I will again. Thank You God for my day yesterday and remind me.
Mulligan in golf means you get a do over. But only once. I’ll take mine today please, as I read my friend, Tony’s post on defining addiction. So much I don’t know. I know a little about the progression of alcohol taking over…but the compulsion…hmmmmm
Well, I didn’t last the first day of saying no to the booze. We went to a nice dinner and as our server took beverage orders, my mind just blanked out and I ordered wine just as easy as you please. I only had 2 glasses but…no congratulations for me. 😞 Many triggers that can trip me up. And I sure didn’t want to have to explain why I was only drinking water. 👈 🙈 Interesting how writing this might be helpful to me.
I used to be a walker. It was what I did. No thought required just throw the shoes on and head out. Trying to get back in that habit again. Today is is my Day One, but day 5 of walking. I will have my companion “hangover” to tag along. I can walk with a hangover. Yes I can. 👊